Part of my working day involves fleet management for a Hospice, most of which are Nissan, so I know the guys on the service desk at the local dealership pretty well. When I turned up with the bonnet badge from an accident damaged Micra in my hand, one of them suggested I wear it on a chain like a medallion. Little did he know I already had such a thing in my desk draw, which I occasionally wear around the Hospice.
To prove it to him, I sent a picture over, along with a little Nissan rap... (Yes, it was a quiet morning!)
Watch me pass by,
In my N-Tec Qashqai,
I’m the daddy, the father,
In my diesel Navara.
They call me the Micra Man,
Twin overhead cam,
I go fast not slow,
Like a CVT Pixo.
The Juke of Sunderland,
In a GT-R wonderland,
Just like the Pied Piper
I am the Pathfinder.
So please take Note,
This rhyme is no joke,
If you’re looking for funny,
Just think Nissan Sunny.
Sporting my Micra Medallion
Night Before De-Icer | Jan 2012
The idea is simple, you spray a coat onto your screen and leave it be. In the morning you return to find jack frost has bypassed your windscreen and you go merrily on your way without delay or inconvenience. So the theory goes. Read
How NOT to wash a car | Oct 2011
This certainly brings new meaning to the words 'wash the car inside and out'.
Buying Tyres | March 2011
The tyre market has changed in recent years with the rise of internet based firms. Does it pay to shop around? Read
Amazon Reader Review | Feb 2011
I enjoy driving a great deal and have driven fairly extensively across the UK, Europe and the USA. However, I have only recently bought my first car (having hired or borrowed at other times) and though I am an experienced driver, I had absolutely no knowledge whatsoever about the basics of maintaining my vehicle. It's very daunting to try and get involved in learning the simple things without having a friend who will walk you through it, especially as a man who does feel marginally ashamed at my lack of knowledge! I am not interested in customising my car, tweaking it, or any of that - I just want to keep it in decent condition and looked after.
Car Care Made Easy is like the knowledgeable friend who talks you through it all. Alex Moss writes clearly and concisely, neither assuming any prior knowledge nor being patronising. The book is very well illustrated throughout (a major failing in other car care books) and takes you through every aspect of self-maintenance, from oil changing to screen wash to what to keep in your boot. Where a job can be done yourself, he shows you how, and where it needs a professional, he clearly states as much. I keep it in my glovebox (perfect size) and use it regularly. Moss also provides free access to articles and useful links on his website, which is very good.
All in all, this is an outstanding book for anyone who needs a guiding hand on car care, and I highly recommend it to all drivers.
Book Review | December 2010
Here's a review of Car Care Made Easy (the book) by a true gent over at Simple Motoring. I did not bribe him in any way to solicit such a favourable review.
A car care Christmas poem | December 2010
Christmas is coming,
Your tyres are looking flat,
Please put some air in,
and replace the valve cap.
If you haven't checked your oil,
Be sure that you do,
If you haven't checked your headlights,
Then we can’t see you.
First off, I am not a game reviewer, as I am sure will become apparent, but I thought I’d chuck my two pennies in the pot any way. Secondly, I know a review should weigh up the pros and cons to provide a balanced argument, but that would take more time and thought than I am prepared to spare. Therefore what follows is my superficial and one sided take on a game that I’ve been looking forward to for quite some time.
After waiting for years, my pre-ordered copy of GT5 arrived 3 days before I was due to sit an exam. Being strong willed and making sure I had my priorities right, revision was swiftly halted.
First impressions; not a lot has changed, at least not to the extent I was expecting given how long GT5 has been in the making.
It appears the lengthy delays can be boiled down to the addition of hundreds and hundreds of cars. Not a bad thing in itself, especially if your ‘real life’ car is featured and you can spend virtual money speccing it up. However, for me it makes no difference, (sadly there are no Rovers in the game) and I would gladly take just a tenth of the cars in exchange for better game play.
For a start, the AI cars are still awful. If you don’t believe me, try the Top Gear test track challenge in the VW camper, and see how you are continually rammed if you move onto the AI line. I've heard that you should play online against real people to avoid this, but frankly that’s just an excuse for the inexcusable.
GT Mode is, once again, fairly long winded. In the early stages you spend hours on easily won races to earn a few pennies. The licences are still there too but thankfully they don’t feature so prominently. GT5 is not a game you can briefly dip into and has already taken vast amounts of my time (partly due to loading speed – more on that later), but every time I switch off the PS3 I feel strangely unsatisfied.
The graphics are pretty cartoonish and there seems to be a lot of glitches with ‘tearing’ across the screen which is distracting and frankly quite shabby. They’ve also tried to jazz things up with shadows and sunlight that reflect into the car when you pass by trees but the result is a mess of scratchy lines.
The same goes for the ‘rain’ races, which is so appalling in cockpit mode that is becomes near on impossible to see anything. F1 Championship edition achieved so much more 4 years ago. Equally, if you were expecting damage in GT5, forget it. Unless I’ve missed the setting to switch it on, as far as I am concerned it doesn’t exist.
Another small thing I noticed when tuning a Civic Type R is where it states the max speed in MPH but it’s actually KPH. A small, perhaps insignificant thing, but it left me bouncing off the limiter in 6th and forced a retirement. Which brings me on to the next problem, the extraordinary length of time it takes to load a race. My loading times may be higher because I’m still running the game from the disc, but I’ve read reviews that say installing it doesn’t make a huge difference anyway. The upside of these regularly enforced breaks is time to rest your eyes, make a cup of tea and nip to the loo.
One final whinge, is the menu design. Say for instance you need to exit a race and tweak your car (because, through no fault of your own you got the stupid gearbox ratios wrong), you can’t just quit the race, tweak it, and restart. No, you have to go all the way back out of the race, reload it all over again and then make the changes. Did I mention loading takes FOREVER?
So the initial verdict: Despite claims made to the contrary, not enough has changed from previous GTs and there are too many flaws to justify how long it’s taken to release this game. GT5 Would have been OK 3 years ago, but at the back end of 2010 it already seems dated and a little dull.
The good:
At least it’s finally out.
Lots and lots of cars
More tracks than prologue (although still missing El Capitan)
Car handling more realistic than ever
Design your own tracks
The bad:
Design your own tracks (it’s not as good as it sounds)
It’s so slow to load races. Sooooo slooooow.
Poor graphics and glitches
You never 'feel' you’re going fast as in Grid or Need for Speed.
Not very exciting game play
AI is still crap
Menu music is still crap
Too many slow loading menus all over the place
Only some of the cars (premium) have their interiors modelled.
Rain is like some sort of cheap confetti.
Damage is non existent as far as I can tell.
Ignore what I've just said and buy the game
any way.
Nissan Juke | November 2010
The Nissan Juke has been out for a few weeks now, but it's a car I still can't quite get my head around. It's nothing to do with the Marmite 'love it or hate it' looks either. In fact I think Nissan should be applauded for staying true to the original Qazana concept, few other manufacturers would be so brave.
The distinctive front end looks great although the rear is reminiscent of the forthcoming Micra and looks quite ordinary. With an awkward pair of bulging hips and unattractive rear lights, the Juke has been given the face of a supermodel but then saddled with a size 16 behind squeezed into a rather unfetching pair of jeans.
But back to the problem. The trouble I'm having, is trying to figure out what this car is supposed to be and who it is meant to appeal to. Nissan reckons it's a new class of crossover, an elevated supermini hatchback with a little SUV airbrushing. That makes it look big on the outside but be less than capacious inside, a sort of reverse Tardis.
This lack of space will pretty much rule it out for most families and just on gut instinct, I'd say 90 percent of the male population should be ruled out too. The remaining 10 percent being at the most metro sexual end of the male spectrum.
So where does this leave us? Well based on Nissan's intention to attract young buyers, we're left with the 17-25 (ish) female market. Could it be that the Juke will be the wheels of choice for aspiring young WAGs? The car that sets them on the road towards the Range Rover Evoque their footballing boyfriend will one day buy them? I suppose if it doesn't work out they can always buy a Qashqai.
But there's another option, one that answers both the question of what the Juke is and also who it is for. So imagine if you will, a trainee hairdresser, nail technician or tanning salon receptionist behind the wheel and you will suddenly realise that what Nissan have done, is create the spiritual successor to the Suzuki Vitara.
I'm not totally convinced that Seb is really into this and the voice over makes me want to bring up my lunch BUT the car looks stunning. Designed by F1 supremo Adrian Newey, the X1 has been commissioned for the virtual world of Gran Turismo, but is based firmly on what would be possible in reality. Using Chaparral 2J fan technology for low speed down force, the design has a definite hint of Caparo T1 about it.
The X1 supposedly produces around 1500bhp from a 'conventional' turbo charged engine, which makes it good for 0-60mph in 1.4 seconds and 0-200mph in 6.1 seconds. It should make for interesting driving if Gran Turismo 5 ever does come out.
any way. 
